Royal Induction at IIML

WELCOME HOAX
The same sun shining over the same Bodhi Grih, the same outlet of Guptaji thronged by WILLing junta, the same guys (pgp22) running for their classes……….But it’s not all the same. It’s 21st June, when the lords, PGP22 set the ground for the rigorous 3-day workshop for their royal induction.
Target Junta:-Fachhas from PGP23 with their wide Angelina Jolie smile, due to their presence in revered IIM Lucknow. All of them are ready to lay their lives and even death at the hands of mighty lords of Hel(L), PGP22. Moreover, fachhas do not have a choice.
Scene 1:- Seven men in black claiming to be the council members in Room 203 with dry and stern faces as if they have just received a 0 in a quiz. A few minutes of sermons follow some of which are as useless as beetles in campus and an ambience of awe is established in fresh minds of fachhas.
Everyone is ordered to assemble at Nescafe outlet for the run for their life- the health run.
Scene 2:- Awesome!!! Enthusiasts clad in brand new socks, shoes and fluorescent sorts assemble for the run as if they have come for some BSF training in IIM. Health run starts and we have a number of plump pot bellies jumping up and down sinosuidally; awakening the thick layer of fat that has accumulated for past few years and was in dormant state for long. All fachhas making silent pledges while running that they will run similarly for coming next two years so that they can give Tom Cruise a run for his crown, once they pass out.
Something else is in store for them. Tonight a test on some management fundas is going to be conducted by the divine knights, the seniors. If they do not perform in this teat, then either they will be thrown out of the institute or the summers are ruined for them. The saga is not over. Defaulters are asked to appear before the DISCO to make a rightful appeal for their lives.
Scene 3 :- 2300 hrs. Rooms are packed with the first years who dream of scoring the maximum marks, in spite of pinches of pain in different parts of the body due to the health run. Question paper capable of shocking even a well established management guru is distributed amongst the meek fachhas and a volley of instructions follow to hit them hard everywhere possible.
Few of first years are disgruntled, few shocked, some of them just looking around in bewilderment as if caught by police for pick-pocketing, and the rest of junta is doing the job which is intended to be done by seniors – scribbling all sort of global dirt (which is equally dangerous for economy and environment) and their thirst for extra sheets increasing with each extra sheet, they just wasted by virtue of their horrifying imaginative process.
Next come the round for testing the literary skills of guys who thumped their chests after cracking the VA section of CAT. So, fachhas seem to be ready to belittle Shakespeare and Wordsworth by penning down their thoughts in the write up to be submitted tomorrow morning. The saga is not over. Defaulters are asked to appear before the DISCO to make a rightful appeal for their lives.
Scene 4:- Next evening and fachhas seem to be in groove of life at IIML now.
Case Studies round!!!
Whoa!!! This is something which would really add oodles of value to the fachhas as managers( as they construe it to be) and they eagerly look forward to the gyaan rendered by their beloved seniors.
Had the traders of BSE witnessed the case discussion, they would have been ashamed of their vocal skills. Fachhas would have ruined their self-confidence ruthlessly. This is followed by another round of gyaan about case studies which will be instrumental in the life of fachhas.
Now the tough has started going for the fachhas, because the going has been really tough.
Next event is the avenue to showcase the GD skills and everyone is ordered to change in formals and when the seniors say formals, THEY MEAN IT (I just loved to hear these words from seniors time and again). The hypnotism of seniors was so captivating that few guys were even dressed up in business suit. Kudos to the organizers for this achievement !!! we have another round of gyaan and junta disperse for catching some sleep in wee hours of morning.
Scene 5:- Last evening of trials and tribulations
Fachhas have a presentation on topics which were as silly as it can be.
The distinguished panel of seniors are ready (some with their swords, some with deadly chemical weapons, while other silent killers with shaving blade) to slay the underprivileged juniors to nano-pieces.

After three days of rigour of bearing the ambience of hel(L), all first years assemble in a room where results are declared for the past processes.
Look at the seniors!!! They are blushing so silently as if they have taken a formal training in same by Sharmila Tagore or Vidya Balan. The stern faces no more exist and it is discovered to the surprise of many first years that seniors in council can also smile.
Time for the juniors to do some serious business- BUMPS to seniors.
The seniors with large degree of carnivorous stints got hit the most. Smiles and cheers of accomplishment galore on faces of fachhas and everyone is welcome at the insti party where the proceedings is a history too good and voluminous to be penned down here.